he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
