Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
