This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
