i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
