just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
