Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
