So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
