i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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