So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
