grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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