Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
