Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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