New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
