he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
