We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
