DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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