You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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