Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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