Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
