You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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