I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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