yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
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his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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