just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
