You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize