I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
