DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize