you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
