Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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