There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
