When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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