i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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