Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
