Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need to align my fucking chakras
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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