After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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