come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
