Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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