dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
