On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
