Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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