She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize