is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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