Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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