It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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