Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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