I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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