I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
