so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
