He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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