god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
