If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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