Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
