Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
