Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
