you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
