I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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