I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this hospital has no fireball
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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